I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
