Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
