But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
