i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
