Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
