I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
