Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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