Christians are straight up FREAKS
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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