.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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