a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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