home. puking in laundry basket.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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