Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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