dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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