I think I am morally bankrupt
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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