yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
