i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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