When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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