If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
When are your genitals available?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
