you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize