Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
