he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
