I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
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Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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