Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
