trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize