Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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