I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
