Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(704): View more from North Carolina

Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.

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(206): View more from Washington

Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.

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(909): View more from California

the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea

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