My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
