Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
In other news, I just burned my penis
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
