hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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