You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
