my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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