shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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