Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
And then he peed in my hair
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