Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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