he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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