...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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