My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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