You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
