You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I can't turn off my feet"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
