can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
