xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize