After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
