did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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