Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
