You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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