Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
her vagine was all disorganized.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
