does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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