Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
