Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize