i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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