I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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