My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize