I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize