He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
