so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
