Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
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I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
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I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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