i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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